Dwight Houston and Ethan Brightman are in love. Nothing could ever come between them, not until the car accident. Ethan loses all memory of being with Dwight but can love truly conquer all? Can Dwight find a way to trigger Ethan’s memories?
Meanwhile, Ethan is struggling with strange feelings he never thought he’d have. He’s drawn to Dwight and knows thaat there is something important there, something he’d forgetting, something just out of reach. If he could just figure out what it was.
Characters from CP Coulter’s ‘Dalton’
0 words to go.
Note: Once NaNoWriMo is over, this will be a purely Dwighthan blog.
Submit anything Dwighthan related here.
Dwight fell asleep. He didn’t mean to. He’d spent most of the night awake, whispering to Ethan and humming that same soft melody he’d hummed in the ambulance on the way over there. He had to keep himself busy so that he could stay awake but as the early hours of the morning came closer, Dwight’s eyes were struggling more and more to stay open.
He had only closed his eyes for a moment. He figured if he closed them for a moment or two, he could keep them open for a lot longer. The logic was there in his brain but as his eyelids got heavier and heavier, he couldn’t open them again, resting his head on Ethan’s chest, his finges still threaded through the Tweedle’s.
He stayed asleep for a long time, not realising just how tired he was. The smallest of movements was enough to wake him though. The one thing that did finally wake him was his hand being squeezed. He smiled softly, squeezing back. He sighed happily, smelling the ever familiar scent of Ethan, soothing him. Then he realised. He felt Ethan squeeze his hand.
He slowly opened his eyes, hesitantly looking up at Ethan. He had absolutely no idea what time it was but it was light out. As he looked up, he squeezed Ethan’s hand again, murmuring under his breath, almost scared to break he moment, “E-Ethan?”
Ethan’s eyes fluttered open just barely, moving his head to the side to look at Dwight. He smiled softly, squeezing Dwight’s hand again. Dwight’s heart raced and he quickly lifted his head up, moving his free hand up and down Ethan’s arm soothingly. He couldn’t believe it. He was awake. He was awake and he smiled and he was going to be okay.
“Hey…you scared me.”
Ethan went to speak but his throat was so dry and his head was aching so much, he couldn’t concentrate. He didn’t know why he was there. He didn’t know for sure where ‘there’ was. He also wasn’t a hundred percent certain why Dwight was there, holding his hand.
Dwight realised what was wrong and quickly grabbed the water next to Ethan’s bed, handing it to him and earning an appreciative smile. He watched Ethan sip the water and bit his lip, smiling softly. Ethan was okay. He was there and he was awake and he was okay. Dwight couldn’t quite believe it. He was going to be okay. They could get passed this together.
“I stayed with you as long as they would let me.”
Ethan raised his eyebrows, staring at Dwight a little confused for a moment. He didn’t get it. Why was Dwight being so nice to him all of a sudden? Where was he? Why did his head pound so much? “I…what happened?”
Dwight smiled sadly, shuffling closer and carefully ran his hand through Ethan’s hair, “We were coming home from breakfast. A car hit us, hit your side, but it’s okay, because you’re awake and that means you’re going to be okay because I’m going to look after you. I promise.”
Ethan almost cringed, leaning away from Dwight’s touch. It was weird and he wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not. Dwight wasn’t the affectionate type and yet there he was, running a hand through his hair and holding his tightly in the other.
Ethan said the first thing he could think to say, “Where’s Evan?”
That hurt, just a little bit. Ethan didn’t seem to care. He didn’t seem to take in Dwight fully, he just wanted to know where his brother was. Dwight looked down at the floor, trying not to show just how hurt he was. He didn’t want Ethan to know. He just wasn’t himself yet. That was all. He needed time to adjust to everything that had happened. It was perfectly normal.
“D-Do you want me to call him? I can tell him to come down here.” Dwight offered, smiling softly.
Ethan nodded quickly, wincing softly as pain shot through his head. Dwight moved on impulse, quickly getting to Ethan’s side, “Be careful.” He whispered, pressing a delicate kiss to Ethan’s forehead. “Don’t want you hurting yourself anymore.”
This time, Ethan did flinch. He gently pressed his hand to Dwight’s chest, pushing him away. Ethan had never pushed him away before. It hurt. It was almost more than he could bear. He’d been through so much with Ethan in the last twenty four hours and Ethan pushing him away just made him feel mose useless, more worthless.
“…W-What are you doing?”
“I-I’m trying to comfort you. I’m sorry….” Dwight looked away guiltily. He felt almost sick. This wasn’t the way this was supposed to be. Ethan was supposed to wake up and Dwight was supposed to look after him until Ethan yelled at him to just relax.
“It’s…it’s really flattering Dwight, but that’s what my brother is for. Frankly, you’re being…way more affectionate than I ever expected you of all people to be.”
“I don’t understand.” Dwight spoke softly, his lip quivering as his grip on Ethan’s hand loosened, “I love you, I’m just trying to protect you.”
“You love me!?” Ethan stared at Dwight in shock, “S-Since when have you loved me?”
“For six months! I’ve loved you since the day we got together Ethan, I tell you every single day! Don’t act like you don’t know. If this is some idea of a joke, it’s not funny, so please stop.” Dwight almost begged, his eyes filling with tears. He was so scared. He didn’t know what was going on or how he was supposed to fix it.
“Six…what? You and me? Together? Like, together together?” Ethan’s eyebrows rose further as he stared at Dwight, “We’re not together Dwight, we never have been.”
Dwight’s heart sank in his chest, but he couldn’t hold in his anger, “You love me! You tell me so every single day! You’re wearing the damn ring I gave you on our third date!”
Ethan’s eyes immediately moved to his hand, brushing his finger along the simple silver band on his finger. It had tiny little flecks of gold in it, scattered throughout the sinver. “H-How…?”
“You’re my boyfriend! Don’t say you can’t remember, Ethan. Please. I need you. I need you to remember me and all the things we’ve done together. You can’t forget the future we had planned!”
Ethan just kept staring at the ring. He was sure he’d never seen it before in his life. He’d not been wearing it before he woke up and suddenly there it was, suddenly, there Dwight was. Dwight was so clingy and scared and attached to him. He had to wonder why. Why was Dwight so close? He was absolutely terrified. How much had he forgotten to have lost an entire relationship? Maybe it wasn’t true though. He’d need Evan to tell him for sure.
Looking up at Dwight reluctantly, Ethan smiled, “Can you please call Evan for me? I-I need to see my brother.”
“Oh. Okay.” Dwight stared at the floor, his voice coming out as a quiet whisper. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This was almost worse than losing him. He had Ethan right there in front of him but he wasn’t allowed to kiss him. Maybe it was the stress of the situation. Maybe if Dwight gave him a little while, he might remember.
Dwight pulled the chair away from Ethan’s side, pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialling Evan’s number. It wasn’t long before he picked up.
“Dwight? Is he awake?”
“Yeah…yeah, he’s awake. Evan…he doesn’t remember us.”
“What do you mean?”
Dwight looked over at Ethan, his voice cracking as he finally started breaking, “He can’t remember that he loves me.”
There was a pause on the other end of the phone and Dwight felt sick. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do now. He hadn’t expected anything like this to happen.
“I’ll be there soon. Just look after him.”
“The same way you always do.”
Dwight reluctantly closed his phone, slipping it back in his pocket. He looked up at Ethan, seeing the hint of fear in his eyes, “I-I’ll wait outside.”
“No!” Ethan wasn’t even sure why he reacted the way he did but he couldn’t just let Dwight leave, “Stay. Please.”
Dwight looked down at the floor, his heart aching. He wanted to rush over to him. He wanted to crawl onto that hospital bed, hugging him and resting his head on his chest. He wanted to tell Ethan he loved him and that he would keep him safe through everything. He couldn’t though. He had to stay away. He had to give Ethan space and keep his distance.
It was like he wasn’t Ethan’s rock anymore and when he looked into his eyes, he didn’t see the same love he had all those times before. It felt wrong. As he realised just how useless he was to Ethan, he broke. He couldn’t hold in the emotions anymore. He was supposed to be strong for Ethan but now Ethan didn’t need him, didn’t want him and it hurt Dwight so much, he just crumbled. Tears were already spilling down his cheeks and he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Ethan anymore. It felt wrong. It felt like he was looking at someone else. That same glow was there, that glow that made him fall in love with him, but it didn’t feel like him anymore. How could he forget? Everything they’d been through and he just forgets?
Dwight sat in the chair, a good distance left between the too of them and let his head fall as he silently cried. He cried for everything he and Ethan had. Everything they’d lost. He cried because there was nothing else he could do and the tension just kept building up.
“Dwight…?” Ethan bit his lip, looking over at Dwight warily. He never meant to upset him. He didn’t know how to fix it but he couldn’t just leave him like that, “Dwight, come here.”
Dwight sniffled, looking up and wiping his eyes quickly. His whole body was shaking as he stared at Ethan for a moment, trying to figure out whether or not he actually should go to him. Ethan told him to though, and he could never deny Ethan. Hesitantly, he got up from his seat, taking slow, timid steps towards Ethan. He wasn’t sure what Ethan wanted, wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.
Ethan patted the bed next to him, smiling reassuringly, “Sit down.”
Dwight just stared at the bed for a moment, unsure of what to do. What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t even find words, so instead simply did as he was told. He didn’t look at Ethan just sat down, staring at his hands as he wrung his fingers together nervously. He had no idea what he was doing, or why. Tears were still falling down his cheeks but he didn’t care anymore. He’d gotten to the point where he just felt numb.
Ethan started sitting up, wincing softly as pain shot through his leg. Dwight moved on instinct. He quickly leant over to Ethan, brushing his hand over his arm, “No. Be careful.”
Ethan shook his head, brushing his hand over Dwight’s reassuringly, “I’m fine. Just a little dizzy.”
Dwight ran his fingers down Ethan’s arm, trying to make the contact last. He didn’t want to let Ethan go. He’d had him for so long now and he meant it when he said Ethan was all he had left. He couldn’t just let Ethan get taken away from him. “J-Just…I don’t want you getting worse.”
“I’m in the hospital, Dwight. If anything happens, I’m in the right place to get help.”
Dwight looked down at the bed, picking at the blanket. He didn’t know why Ethan called him over. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Ethan grabbed Dwight’s wrist, pulling him over to him and Dwight took a long, deep breath, “W-What are you doing?”
Ethan wrapped his arms around Dwight, hugging him tightly, “I’m trying to comfort you.” He wiped a few of the tears from Dwight’s cheeks, murmuring softly, “I don’t like seeing you crying.”
Dwight sniffled, looking up into Ethan’s eyes. He leant forward before catching himself, realising what he was doing. He wasn’t allowed to. He wanted to so badly but he couldn’t, “See, you’re doing that thing where you make me want to kiss you…only this time, I’m not allowed to.”
“Dwight…” Ethan looked away, sighing sadly, “I’m flattered, believe me, I am…but how could you and I ever work?”
Dwight whimpered, his lip quivering. It hurt so much to hear him say that. He never wanted to hear him say it. It was like a break up. Only this was a little bit worse because it was as though they really had broken up. They weren’t together, because how could Dwight be with Ethan when Ethan didn’t want it?
“We made it work.” Dwight’s voice was a whisper, tears falling down his cheeks again, “We’re two sides of a coin. You make me strong and you make me do things I’d never normally do, and I keep you grounded. We’re a team.”
“We’re a team? You and me?” Ethan looked right into Dwight’s eyes as he asked. He didn’t want to upset Dwight, he was just so confused. He needed the answers. He looked away for a moment, grabbing Dwight’s hand and squeezing it gently.
Dwight couldn’t help it, he blurted out the words without thinking, “I love you.”
Ethan smiled softly and Dwight swore he saw a glimpse of his Ethan again. Just for a moment, but then Ethan was looking away, biting his lip as he stuttered hesitantly, “I…I-I can’t…I can’t say that when I can’t remember any of it. I’m sorry.”
Dwight wrapped his arms around Ethan, hugging him tightly and burying his face in his neck, crying softly, “I’m so sorry. It should’ve been me…”
“No.” Ethan rubbed Dwight’s back, sighing sadly, “Don’t you ever think that.”
“I should’ve driven.” Dwight whispered, “I should’ve driven and let you pay. It should’ve been me, not you. I should have left it alone.”
“You’re going to drive yourself crazy with this.”
“I’m already crazy without you.” Dwight murmured so softly, Ethan almost couldn’t hear it.
“I’m right here.”
“It’s not the same.” Dwight pulled away, looking at the floor, “You’re not in love with me anymore.”
“I never was.”
“Don’t you dare say that!” Dwight stood up, glaring at Ethan. He’d never been so angry with him before. He’d never wanted to scream at him and call him anything less than beautiful. He was just at the end of his tether. He couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted his Ethan back, “Maybe you didn’t love me at first, but you loved me enough to initiate our first kiss. You loved me enough to take me on our first date. You loved me enough to show me everything and to take me through it. You loved me enough to plan our future, getting a house together, getting married, having kids. We had it all planned because we love each other so don’t you dare for one second say you never loved me!”
Ethan looked away guiltily but Dwight couldn’t get himself to look at him for long. He couldn’t stand that room anymore. He had to get out. He started walking towards the door but stopped in his tracks as he saw Evan standing there, looking at him curiously. He didn’t want to explain. Especially not with Ethan right there in the room with them. He couldn’t breathe in that space anymore and pushed his way out of his room, murmuring just loud enough for Evan to hear, “I’ll be outside.”